An Anniversary I Will Never Forget

When I started blogging again two years ago while stating my journey with my fibromyalgia coach and training to become a certified fibromyalgia advisor, I wrote a post about the day I nearly died from alcohol poisoning in 1996.

Last photo of me before my family turned on me

That blog post was something that I used to be proud about, I wrote it thinking I was a reckless teenager that had caring adults in her life that protected her that night but several weeks ago when I started having flashbacks about being sexually assaulted, I started remembering more from the night that I was invited to have drinks with two teenage boys. These two boys were athletes and they were bigger and stronger than me. They snuck a bottle of crown royal, we were all underage. I remember the first two drinks but it becomes hazy very fast. I drank those two drink straight, no mix. I remember we were watching music videos and I got up to dance to a song I was loving that summer. I remember them touching me and coaxing me to the bar area, there was a storage room off the side, that's where they wanted me to be. I passed out and was getting sick, they panicked. This part was hearsay, they got my aunt that was a nurse. She took care of me, I didn't die. I was eternally grateful. Until I started thinking about how the next day plays out, when I'm done being violently ill and somewhat rested (for a few hours at least), I join my family, where each and every adult scolds, lectures, shames, degrade me for hours about my behavior for bringing the alcohol, convincing the boys to party with me, break into their liquor cabinets, then nearly die from my recklessness.

I would like to add that the four adults lecturing me about alcohol consumption were each "social drinkers" - - - I feel there was a lot of projection that day and also those boys were protected and never faced any consequences for their parts of that night. I also feel that they were protected to preserve their spots on their elite sports team.